My Yearly Valentine Dilemma

 Each year I send a Valentine package to my grandchildren; I used to send something to my adult children, but when they started having children it was too expensive to include everyone.  My youngest son and his wife will get something small; they don't have kids yet!  And each year I think it would be so much smarter to just put a $5 bill in a Valentine card for each of them, but then, it's so much more fun for the kids to open a package full of things.....right?  There are just too many choices: candy, toys, movies, books, stickers, clothes....and the list could go on forever!   In putting these packages together I also have to think of the cost, if not, then I'd spend a small fortune!

When I was in the Tri-Cities on Tuesday I purchased a few Valentine things: a little candy, slap bracelets, and Valentine Cards; i had some window gel clings I bought last year to add and now I am thinking that I don't have enough!  This morning I was looking at Pinterest and ran across the cutest Valentine garland made out of brown paper hearts and book pages which; then in my mind, has turned into brown paper hearts with sepia tone photos of my grandkids and of us!  (Now if only my printer was working properly!)

 I love being creative, thinking creatively, and then actually following through on my ideas.  My problem is that I have so many ideas at one time!  It's a difficult process for me to choose the one that I love the most and then follow through. 

I am thinking that I'd better get a move on if I'm going to gather everything I need in order to make these garlands; I only have a few days before I have to get them in priority mail since I am not usually ahead of the ball to use regular mail.

I'd love to hear any other ideas of things to send and make for my grandkids and family.  I'd also appreciate any good "electronic energy vibes" to come my way so that my printer will work!

(as a side note: my husband came home from work and hopefully fixed my printer)  Thanks!

Feelings Come and Feelings Go

I've had a few interesting experiences with feelings in the past few days and have found it fascinating to see feelings bubble to the surface in each case.  I'd like to explore them briefly here, if only for my amusement.

Yesterday I had my day planned: Lunch and Girls' Camp planning meeting with 2 friends, work the Hallmark departments at both Safeways in town and then dinner and relaxation in the evening.  The first part of my day went as scheduled except I was running late to lunch because I was wanting desperately to finish my blog post; I had a mission!  

Lunch was great and we discussed Girls' Camp; it only took us almost three hours!  The time got away from us, but we did enjoy ourselves!  I managed to avoid a parking ticket by running out to my car as the meter maid was writing me up; happy that she gave me a break.  I said, "are you giving me a ticket?"  Meter Maid, "yes, it's been over 2 hours and then I said, "well,  I'm here now and leaving.  Phew!  My friends weren't able to avoid their tickets. 

I postponed my plans to work the Hallmark departments when it was so late in the afternoon (I'm really good at postponing things!) and then when I was helping my son with something through my e-mail account I discovered our internet was out.  I called the Internet Provider which is something I rarely do; it's just not a comfortable spot for me to be in.  I'm not always sure what equipment they're asking me about; "what chord is what color"?  "Are you referring to the modem which is which machine?"  It's never a pleasant experience for me, but I did it, and managed to get through the hour long experience without shedding a tear; although, I could feel them wanting to push through my tear ducts when I realized that I had to take care of the problem.  The Tech support woman who, by the way, lived in St. Louis, was very nice and patient.  Through a few minutes of "down time" while the computer had to reboot or the modem had to reboot, we had short conversations.  I found out that besides her living in St. Louis, that she also has lots of patience with customers like me as well as doing lots of waiting while customers are rebooting their computers and modems. 

As I was having that very anxious experience with electronics which is not my "thing" I was wondering about the emotions I was having and what I was learning from this not-so-pleasant experience.  I'm still not sure!  The ironic and funny (if you can call it funny) thing is that when my husband got home and found out that our wireless internet was no longer connected because the tech support woman had me disconnect it because the computer was trying to find it and could not......he re-did the whole thing and it worked!  He said to me, "and now you see that the cable company isn't too smart."  And WHY did I take an hour to do all of that?

This morning I had planned to attend the LDS Temple with two friends and after driving an hour  to get there (also had lunch and shopping planned afterwards), found out that we hadn't been scheduled.  Oops!  I love being in the Temple and the peace I usually feel there.  Today I felt a little frustrated, maybe a titch irritated with a little inward eye-rolling and had to find a way to change my feelings; I didn't want to continue feeling irritated; I was in a place to feel the opposite of frustration.   It was okay; I was able to let those feelings go and do something different in the Temple than I had planned and it was good. 

And then just a few minutes ago while reading a blog about the A to Z Blog Challenge  I participated in last year I discovered that it was happening while I was out of town; how could I blog while I was visiting kids and grandkids?  I'm still feeling a little sad and left out (although no one would miss my blogging); mostly just a little disappointed to join in.  (maybe I'll figure out a way to participate)  

It's interesting, if we pay attention, to see emotions and feelings surface at times in our day and when we're not ready for them or expecting them.  How do you handle unexpected things?  I'm thinking I need to change my middle name to "rubber band" as in flexible!  It's all good.

Distractions

Yesterday morning before I left for Church I was practicing some Children's Primary songs on the piano (I play the piano for the children's meeting) and found that the pedal on my piano was squeaky.  I remembered that it had been squeaking last week when I was practicing, but somehow it bothered and distracted me more yesterday than it had last week.  For the life of me, I could not ignore the squeaking and noticed that I was making more mistakes than normal on the easy music I was playing.

The squeaky pedal was a distraction to me that I could not seem to shake, and then the thought came to me, "what other distractions are keeping me from progressing in other areas of my life"?

We all have distractions in our lives that can keep us from moving in a forward direction.  Obvious distractions in my life are the television, facebook, and playing games on my phone.  I'm not saying that we can't enjoy these things, but when I'm doing these things in place of activities such as reading and pondering or listening to good music which would improve my life mentally, physically and spiritually, then I am choosing to stay stagnant.

Yesterday in Church a woman talked about her awful basement ( hidden from any visitors since the door to the basement enters from the garage instead of inside the house) how she hates it, that it is dark and musty and unfinished and dirty.  It is now her family's project to clean it up starting with the floors.  They are choosing to do it by getting on their hands and knees and scraping, scrubbing and washing the dirt away (as opposed to renting a machine).  She compared that to our souls and the process of exploring areas not exposed to anyone else but ourselves and then with the help of the Savior and his atonement, in cleaning those undesirable areas that are more difficult to clean up and to even view.

 Last night I had a not so comfortable "aha moment" where I was able to see something I had not clearly seen that needed scrubbing away with the help of the Savior.  I really wish there was a machine I could rent to make it easier, to feel a little less pain.  The ironic part of seeing this flaw in myself was that I was watching a movie, albeit a more spiritual movie, when I saw and felt the desire to have this flaw taken away.   Maybe Heavenly Father shows us, sometimes, through methods we are familiar with? ( In fairness to myself, I was at the point last night, ready to view and ask for help to "scrub my basement floor". )

How many years have I stayed distracted from really seeing in me something I needed help with?   

 Many years ago when I was watching my youngest son, Rob, play in a golf tournament I listened to one of the Dads of a golfer tell the story of Tiger Woods' Dad throwing leaves and things at Tiger when he practiced so he could learn to concentrate and focus solely on the task at hand: hitting the golf ball.  Obviously, Tiger Woods learned to ignore those distractions for his golf game; with practice I'll be able to ignore that squeaky pedal (or oil it!) and master the songs I'd like to.

We all have distractions in our lives; some are thrown at us and some are chosen by us.  
It is our choice what to do with them; we can push through them to develop focus or we can remove some of them.  Whichever we choose, let's choose to move forward in creating more joy and more growth.  We only have this life; let's choose wisely.

Staying in the Present

On Thursday I was able to drive a few hours away to visit my son and his family; they have 15 month old twin girls and I love seeing them.  They're at such a fun age; we are blessed to have them only live a few hours away since all of my other 7 grandchildren live much further away than a two hour drive.
     I had a nice visit, and today I had to come home.  I decided that I'd pull my camera out of my backpack and take some pictures along the way home. ( I wish I had taken photos of the babies while I was there with my nice camera instead of my iphone.)  I drove through a canyon following the Snake River, I believe, and then through farm country with a few small towns scattered along the way.  It was a chance for me to just stay in the present, in the moment of being in the car with my music, my thoughts and my camera without thinking of what I had to come home and do.  It's a practice I'd like to continue each day(not the road trip; as much as I love them it might get old!  But the practice of being in the moment.)

As I pulled into Pomeroy I saw this beautiful horse and actually drove past before I thought I should turn around.   It's something I don't normally do (turn around) but today I thought, "why not?  when will I be back here and have this opportunity again?)  They walked up to me after I got out of my car.

It feels like it should be Springtime already with the fields starting to get green!

Dayton; I would have loved to walk around and take some more photographs, but I did have to be home by a certain time.

Outside of Waitsburg I started to see some fog.

I don't know if you can tell, but I tried to take this photo with the pink showing through the fog near the top of the photo.  It was the strangest thing seeing pink fog!  Maybe it was pink because it was really sunny above it? 

    I left 43 degree, sunny weather and ended up in 36 degree, foggy weather; what a difference!  Now I am practicing the art of being in the moment while at home; it's not as pretty or interesting as my drive but I have much to do taking one step at a time in my home and many things to be grateful for.

Moving One Foot in Front of the Other

Tonight my husband and I watched Snow White and the Huntsman.  I’d heard good things about it and since we wanted to watch a Halloween “appropriate” movie, that’s the one I picked.  (It was either that or Mirror, Mirror which is a lighter “take” on Snow White, but I felt like I wanted to watch a darker movie in honor of the Halloween season).

I wasn’t sure what to expect other than my husband had watched it and said he liked it.  I found myself taken in by this movie; I wasn’t sure exactly why but I loved watching it; all of it, even the harder parts to watch like the Queen ripping a heart out of a bird and eating it (that kind of thing usually has me turning my head or closing my eyes) or a young girl having the life sucked out of her by the Queen (yes, she was EVIL).

At one point, Snow White had escaped the castle and was running for her life.  She found herself in the Dark Forrest which was terrifying.  I guess the thought of having the Queen take your heart would make a person less fearful of the unknown.  As I watched Snow White continue to run, sometimes by herself and sometimes with the help of others,  I thought of how the running through the fear, parallels life. 

We have the choice:  we can move through hard times and fearful times and discouraging times or we can stop.  Stop where we are; we know where that is - it’s familiar or it’s at least what we know at the moment.  But as we stop moving we become stagnant; we quit growing.  We want to move toward the light, but we have to go through the darkness and unfamiliar territory to find it - sometimes.

To go through the darkness and to cover unfamiliar territory takes courage and faith.  In my case, my faith is in my Savior, Jesus Christ.  If I remember He is there then why should I fear?  The alternative is to be stagnant and to die; not a physical death in my case (Snow White could have physically died when she stopped); however, I could die spiritually (if only for the time that I stopped) and socially (cut off from those I love). 

I think the thing I was most impressed while watching Snow White continue to run in places that she’d never been, was that she was just moving one foot in front of the other.  Isn’t that what we have to do daily?  Just move one foot in front of the other in a forward motion? 

Remembering My Passions

Last week I was given the opportunity on two different days to remember two things that I absolutely love doing and that give me great satisfaction.  I haven't recorded anything on my blog for months, but I couldn't seem to find my inspiration.   Thanks to two of my friends, I have found two things I feel passionately about and that give me inspiration.

Last Saturday evening, late, I received a text from a friend who was having a panic attack.  She knew that I had been trained in Rapid Eye Technology and must have known that I could help (either that or she was desperate).  I haven't kept up my certification in Rapid Eye, but I have not forgotten everything and was able to help her use EFT to lower her panicked feelings from an "8" to a "3" which gave me such a good feeling.  I love helping people.

In the same week, I was asked by a friend if I would mind taking some Senior photos of her son for the yearbook.  I have not touched my camera for months.  I had forgotten how much I loved taking photographs and being creative!  She and her son came over on a Saturday in the late afternoon, and even with some slight rain, we took some great photos in my backyard.   As I was loading the photos onto my computer, I felt happy to be able to do this for my friend, but also felt happy to be doing something I loved!

For me, life is more enjoyable when I am participating in activities that bring me great joy; I had forgotten or had chosen to forget because I thought that I could not do either of these things very well.  Maybe it's not in doing things better than anyone else but just doing things the best I can that bring me joy; either way, I want to remember to stay in this place of remembering the things that I love doing. 


         

Finding some Inspiration

Today I'm not going to write about how long it's been since I've blogged or that I haven't followed up my Girls' Camp experience or whine about my lack of interesting ideas or experiences.   Instead I'd like to share some inspiration I found this morning (which will hopefully keep me inspired each day).

I follow Danielle LaPorte's posts on facebook and read one of her past postings titled, The Biggest Threat to Your Creativity.  (I'm going to post this short, very inspirational piece - at least inspirational to me)
  The biggest threat to your creativity…
… is the fear that it’s already been done, said, created.
(So why bother?)
Say it, do it, make it anyway —
but tell YOUR story along the way.
The story of how you came to know what you know.
The story of what you want to know more of.
The story of why you do what you do.
The story of how you came to care.
And that’s how you create what’s never been created before.


When I read this short piece, a light bulb came on for me since I have had those thoughts of why bother when it's already been done or what do I have to offer since so many others know so much more than me?  (I am not looking for sympathy; just expressing my thoughts)  She is right about the fact that we are all individuals with different thoughts, perspectives and experiences.  We all have our own stories and even if they are similar, they are still different because we are different individuals. 

So even with missing about 3 weeks of writing I will push on and find joy in discovering the answers to the four questions of how I came to know what I know, what I want to know more of, why I do what I do and how I came to care.  (but sometimes I want to write about light things since life can sometimes be way too serious!)