I Used To....

 There is a store in Walla Walla, called Real Deals, and it is only open on Thursdays and Saturdays(it's a great little store); they sell inexpensive home decorative items and I like to go look around every once in a while.  A while back I bought a small sign that sits in my kitchen window sill that reads, "I Used to Have a Handle on Life But It Broke Off!"  I love having humor around me and it really summed up the way I had been feeling.   

This could be perceived as a negative attitude but I do not look at it that way.  It is rather funny to even think that I had any control over life in the first place!  If nothing else, my children taught me that I only have control over what I think and do.  As a parent we teach our children right from wrong, try to teach them manners, how to be nice to people, that they are children of our Heavenly Father and that we want them to be happy,etc...;  hopefully when they grow up they will retain some of it!  

What are we learning as adults?  Our children teach us patience, perserverence, to set good examples (or at least try), and hopefully in there somewhere we are learning that life is joyful; however, the one thing they" took" from me was my control.  I don't mean "control" as in when they are young and I allowed them to do dangerous things.  The control I am writing about is the kind of control that takes away their thinking and choices at the appropriate age, of course. (on the other hand, I had to learn that my thoughts and moods were not to be controlled by their choices and moods either.) 

We do not have to be parents to learn that we are not in control either; there are many ways we learn this; even with children gone from home now other people and "things" teach me the same thing.  Just look around at the people and "things" in your life, and I will bet there are plenty of opportunities to learn this lesson. (my computer teaches me this daily!) 

I used to make cakes from scratch, bottle fruit and other food items, cook dinner every night, care more about what other people thought about me, want to be model skinny, etc....  Now I look for shortcuts that allow me to be more in control of my thoughts and choices.  

The few things I have learned are that I can be in control of my thoughts and choices and that God knows everything.   And when you think about it, who really wants to use all of your energy trying to keep that handle from breaking off?