Monday, February 21, 2011

Scattered

  I could hardly wake up this morning; affects from an OTC sleeping pill taken too late last night!  Seriously had to make myself get up and make myself go to Curves with a friend.  I am so tired of having to make myself; is there anyone out there who doesn't have to "make" themselves do things?  Is there a trick to this?  And then on top of that, I knew I had this blog to post something in today; so another "making" myself do something! *S* 
   So I am writing something rather than not posting at all but I feel scattered; maybe the effects from the otc sleeping pill?  I have so many things in my mind, but the one thought that keeps showing up is the 100/0 principle. 
  I read about it on the website, Simple Truths (a website that sells self-help and motivational material).  The basic principle is that you give 100% to any relationship without expecting anything in return.  The "pay-off" happens when the other party in the relationship starts to give 100% back.  I think that it must take quite a while for the other person to give back.  I have tried this over the years, but I don't think I have given without expecting anything for enough of a time period to get the "pay-off". 
    And I am smiling because I know the reason behind the 100/0 principle is probably not to get the "pay-off" but to just focus on your actions which leads me back to my belief that it really only matters what I do no matter what is going on around me. 
   Where does that pure motivation come from?  The motivation to act positively and with love and without judgement, not expecting anything in return?  Is that pure love?  Is that the pure love of Christ?  I know I am lacking in that area and I do have a desire to improve. 
     It all comes back to having to "make" myself do anything.  So I don't know if anyone is reading this and has a different experience in life that would care to share, but I am looking for the secret to just being and doing without the struggle of having to "make" myself. 
    At some point I would love to have a schedule for posting; some kind of outline to follow that would make sense.  Unfortunately, my life has not been much about schedules or organization even with the raising of my 5 children.  So I will continue to post and am waiting for inspiration and insight to all my questions. 
    As I am about to end this post the sun has come out and is shining through my office window; perhaps there is light and hope at the end of the tunnel.  If there is, then I am certainly going to find it and not give up. 

3 comments:

  1. I know I struggle with this too. Sometimes when I watch the reality shows I do, the women are always so busy they seem to fit a lifetime into a day with lots of important things. I can't make myself get dressed some days. I think it's about being passionate about what I'm doing. When I can't wait to get up in the morning. hmmm I don't know if I have ever experienced that. Well I do know that I have dared to come to terms with having a different life for myself. I have a plan mapped out and can see the destination in my mind and feel excited about it. But I have a feeling that I will have to make myself start and make myself continue. I don't know if the end result is enough of a goal to keep me going. I seem to not beable to committ. Committment, I think is the issue. I can be swayed from my goal too easily. I think that is what happens to us stay at home Moms who forgot to put ourselves on our own lists. Whoa I didn't realize I was so messed up. Any advice?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I meant to say all us stay at home Moms who forgot to put ourselves on our own lists all those yrs of raising our children.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Deb, if we're talking about where the motivation comes from? If so, then I know what you're talking about. I had that same dang experience this morning; just when I thought maybe I was almost over it(yeah, right *S*) because last week after I had started writing this things seemed to happen more easily for me and then, BAM, I felt like I had to make myself again! So I did make myself kneel to pray because I thought Jill was going to be coming over to workout and i had no desire to do anything so I got down by the couch(where I had been laying!*S*) and just said a quick prayer and had the thought in my head, "Just move" so I did and am so glad I did.
    I have things I"m thinking about doing in the future and thanks to you, even thinking about going back to school but just to get some kind of certificate; don't think I can bear the thought of 4 years! I'm thinking about interior design because I love being creative so I do need to talk to a counselor at CC and see what that entails and if they even have an AS in interior design. But right now I just keep checking off my to-do list each day and usually forget to put something important on the list; maybe that important thing is me!*S* (and making hotel reservations for Brent's graduation! ahhhh!*S*)

    ReplyDelete