Monday, February 28, 2011

The Words We Speak

I read a book about 5 years ago titled,  The Four Agreements, authored by Don Miguel Ruiz.    It's a really good book that's a fairly short read but has a good message.   May I quote the back of the cover, "In The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering.  Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love."
Anyway, the first agreement is to "be impeccable with your word."  Quoting Mr. Ruiz, "Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love".   I've been thinking about this topic for the past day or so.  Words are the most powerful tool we have in our possession. With a few words we can built someone up as well as with a few words we can tear someone down.  Words are powerful; do we think about the words we use?  Do we speak positive words to others or do we have the "eeyore" syndrome (a "made-up" syndrome this very minute by me *S*  If this exists I don't have any knowledge of it but maybe I should "google" it!*S*).  
We all know who Eeyore is, right?  He is frankly, my least favorite character in the Winnie the Pooh cartoon series; although the cutest donkey, he has such a sad, sad countenance and sad outlook on life.   I haven't seen the Wimnie the Pooh cartoon in quite a while, but from my memory I don't recall Eeyore seeing or speaking the positive; although, I do not think Eeyore is a bad guy; he doesn't say mean things to the other characters (maybe I need to watch Disney to see how Eeyore really acts and report back on another day?*S*).   And still with that said,  I do not want to be an Eeyore.
I am making more of an effort in speaking kindly but do find myself slipping up occasionally.  Our words reveal ourselves to the world; our words come from our thoughts.  If we find ourselves speaking negatively about others, saying negative things about ourselves, or not following through on what we say we're going to do we may need a "thought" adjustment.  
Many years ago (maybe 26? wow!) I sold Janeen Brady cassettes and sheet music at home parties. (one of my many attempts to make some extra money)  In her songbook  "Show a Little Love" she includes a song titled, "The Words You Speak".  I'm quoting her words, "The words you speak, the words you say, the words you utter give you away.  Like "please," "thank you," and "yes you may."  I can tell what you are by your words,  If you speak only waht is true, I know that I can depend on you, for you are honest in all you do, I can tell this because of your words.  I can tell where you've been, what you've read how you think, by your words  did you know?  And what's more, I can tell by the words that you speak where you're going to go.  It's the truth it's really so, So little friend, you must beware, and choose your words with the greatest care.  You'll be a champion if you dare to speak only the very best words."
We are not children anymore but these words from her song still holds true for us.  My intention today(and everyday) is to pay close attention to the words that I use and correct them if I hear them come out of my mouth in an unseemly manner, for I'd like my words to be "builders" and not  "destructors" of those I come in contact with. 


  1. I don't think I have a problem with this one. I know when I say something mean or hurtful and really try not to go there. I have to be really mad. I did figure out a couple of yrs ago sometimes I sound as if I am blaming the person I am talking to, I guess my tone, so sometimes I will prequel my statement by explaining this so they know I am coming from a place of love. I feel I do say what I mean and mean what I say. Funny thing when you are like this and you are talking to someone that wants to "read between the lines" communication gets tricky. I know I am reminding my husband to take things I say at face value and try to stop finding "hidden meanings". I guess this would be hard for someone that had no tact though. Anyway what I have been trying to do is speak the positive. I have been truly trying to live with gratitude this last yr. after reading a quote I saw, which I will share when I find it. lol. Especially after some trying obstacles I had to cross which made me realize how precious we all are. I have found it easier to tell those around me how grateful I am for them. What I say is true and comes from my heart. You can even do this with people you don't know well. I try to say any positive thing that comes to my mind while in conversation with someone. Since I have experienced this and then I don't say anything when the thought is there and I walk away I find myself regretting that I should have told them whatever it was. I have done this with my grown children and even my husband. I want to say it all I guess, nothing left unsaid. I acknowledge who they are and celebrate. It is nice to see their reaction and it is wonderful to me to beable to witness the lives of the ones I love so dearly in a positive way.

  2. Debbie,
    Thanks for posting and your post made sense. I never intend to say anything which will make someone feel badly but once in a great moon (ha) I might say something that is mistaken; I do need to work on my communication. What you are doing (I think) is living a life with no regrets as far as your relationships and I think that is awesome!