Waiting

It's been a really nice day and a busy one which I needed since I'm waiting to hear news of grandchild #10 being born; it's a girl and her name is Alice. 

Waiting is interesting; it's taxing on one's mind, but filled with a little excitement and anticipation all at the same time, except maybe waiting for surgery or something unpleasant in which case it's just dread.

  The only time I enjoy waiting is when I'd rather be sitting in a chair in a waiting room able to sit in peace with nowhere to go, since I'm waiting.  That kind of waiting isn't too terribly awful, but this kind of waiting (waiting for a birth) doesn't feel as relaxing as reading a book or magazine while waiting. 

I remember as a child waiting for Christmas or my birthday or a family vacation.  That kind of waiting is filled with anticipation so it's a mixture of excitement and anxiousness.  

It was a great distraction to have a girls' camp planning meeting at my house today, and it was fun to actually make lunch and play Martha Stewart for a few hours. 

Now the meeting's over, the house is straightened and my daughter-in-law will most certainly be having baby Alice by tonight sometime.  If I lived in the same town I'd be participating more as in helping with their 3 year old.   As it is, I am a long way from California and will have to find things around here to keep me occupied.  I think I can do that; I have a bridal shower to get planned with invitations to fill out and address which will have to be mailed tomorrow.

I have to admit that it does feel a little like Christmas eve; a little excitement, nervousness and anticipation all wrapped up in the waiting.  And in three weeks we'll make the trek out to California to meet little Alice in person.  More waiting....

The More You Use, The More You Have

"You can't use up creativity, the more you use, the more you have." ---Maya Angelou

This quote resonates with me; I love being creative and having new ideas and expanding on old ideas.  For me, it's like taking a drive with lots of exits and winding roads, eventually ending up in a beautiful location.  I'm grateful for this kind of mind; although, it can also be inconvenient if I'd like to stop thinking- it can just keep on coming and coming if I don't do something to distract my mind.  Lots of times I turn on the tv; that seems to help.

It seems to me that when we use intangible objects such as love, creativity and gratitude (for some examples) they multiply.  Think about it; if you have a grateful attitude don't you notice more things in your day that you're grateful for?  As we have children, doesn't our love multiply instead of decrease?  And how about a creative mind?  That seems to keep on giving as well.

I guess my short thought for the evening is to notice what we give to others, how we view our lives, and what our thoughts are because for some unknown reason (to me) they seem to multiply.  I know there's some kind of quantum explanation that even if I heard wouldn't stick in my quickly moving mind because it would probably morph into a different idea which would then take a turn into something else totally different!  



I saw another quote tonight which said, "Don't worry about walking a mile in my shoes, just try a day thinking in my head. " 

A Heartbreaking Experience

On Friday while I was working at one of the two Safeway grocery stores in my town I had an experience, a heartbreaking experience; one that I hope to never forget and one that I'm not sure what I learned from it..

It was after 4:00pm while I was putting out a Hallmark card order in the aisle and the store was fairly  busy with people stopping at the grocery store after work to buy food for the weekend.  I frequently have store customers mistake me for a store worker and ask me where they can find different things; I enjoy interacting with them; however, I wasn't really prepared for the middle-aged man who approached me on this afternoon.   I could not understand him even after asking him several times to repeat himself; I was frustrated, but I am sure he was more frustrated.  He also motioned while he spoke, I'm sure, to try and help explain what he was wanting to buy.  I determined that he wasn't looking for a greeting card so I told him that I didn't work for Safeway and that I was sorry.  He walked down the aisle to a young woman who was stocking shelves where I saw him talking and using hand gestures to help explain himself and then left the aisle.

It broke my heart to see this man not able to communicate his needs to others.  I walked down and asked the young woman if she was able to help him, but she was unable to understand him as well.  I just kept hoping that someone could understand him and that he could find what he was searching for.  I felt like I wanted to follow him around the store making sure that everyone he spoke with was kind and patient with him.

I had continued working when he approached me again speaking and using hand gestures wanting me to understand him.  This time I asked him if he could write it down for me; he could not and just continued motioning.  I felt ecstatic when somehow I was able to understand that he was looking for envelopes!  I excitedly conveyed to the young woman still working down the aisle from me, "he's looking for envelopes!".  She was able to direct this man to the area where he could buy envelopes; no wonder he asked me since there are lots of envelopes with the greeting cards!

As he walked away I couldn't help but shed some tears; tears of sadness for this man who has to live like this and tears of gladness that I was able to figure out what he wanted.

I like to try and learn lessons from experiences but I'm not sure what my lesson was on that Friday late afternoon.  Maybe I was taught to be more compassionate towards others who struggle with problems or disabilities or maybe it was just a reminder to me to be grateful for my circumstances in life.  I'm not sure, but I still think about that middle-aged man who lives his life like this daily-not being heard or understood.  I wonder how he copes and what he's learned from this? 

Are Your Choices Worth the Price?

Again, this morning I heard some food for thought from Dennis Prager (I hope you don't get tired of ideas I get from Dennis Prager; I love listening to him).  He hosts an hourly program about happiness, and I only heard about 30 minutes this morning while getting dressed. 

What price are you paying?  Nothing in life is free ; all our choices, beliefs, lifestyles, daily habits; none of them are free.  We may pay more for some of our choices and beliefs and habits than we do for others but still, none of them are free.

Yesterday was a leisurely day for me.  I was so tired and had been busy the earlier part of the week so I took it off.  I did nothing but lay around and watch television which felt good at the time.  Today I am paying a price for not allotting time yesterday to do things that I will now have to do today. 

I paid a price and am still paying a price for my choice to not finish my college education when I got married, and today while all of my children are out of the house and I'd like to have a career my choices are pretty much nil.  Was the price worth it to me to stay at home with my kids?  Yes, I think so.  I could go back to school now if I wanted; so far I haven't been willing to pay the price to do that. 

I've known of people who have lost their families when they've changed religions or made different lifestyle choices.  That's a high price to pay; they are brave individuals and most certainly devoted to their beliefs to do that. 

I am sure you have paid a price for the choices you've made and continue to make today.  Are those choices worth the price you've had to pay?  We really cannot have it all; I know some people say that we can, but show me someone who has it ALL.

So as it has become afternoon and I'm not out of the house yet because I do have to do my part-time retail merchandising job for Hallmark at our 2 local Safeway stores, I am regretting my choice a little for taking yesterday off and also regretting my lack of time management this morning because it has started raining and is not likely to let up.  I'll be paying the price for my late start by getting a little wet; not a horrible price to pay but I'd rather be staying indoors and doing some fun things in my house.

We all have paid prices for our choices; sometimes I think it's a good thing to look at our choices and evaluate if they were worth it.  On the other hand, I don't think it's a good thing to have regrets even if we don't like our prices paid.  Life is too short.  

 

What Are You Teaching the World?

This morning as I was in a hurry to get out the door I checked my e-mail and ran across an interesting question in my junk folder.  I subscribed to Danielle LaPorte's Daily Truthbombs and today I received  #222 which asked, "What are you teaching the world?".

I have had that question in my mind all day, even while having a fun day with 2 friends celebrating one's birthday and acting like crazy tourists in a very small cowboy town!

What am I teaching the world?  I know what I'd like to teach the world, or at least a major thing I'd like to teach the world which is, we are amazing human beings created with more knowledge and power within us than we realize.  My question to me is, "are you teaching the world what you'd like to?"  I don't know; I'm sure there are days when I don't teach the world anything of value or days that I teach the world what not to do, but then there are those days that I hopefully spread a little cheer and kindness and love to those around me which I hope will then be passed along  to others and so on and so on.    Maybe the best answer to that question for me is that I'd like to teach the world to love.   

I'd like to ask  you the same question: "What are you teaching the world?".  I'd love to hear your answers. 

Everyday, Do Something

This morning as I was listening to a few minutes of Dennis Prager's radio talk show I heard him, in just the few minutes I was listening, make a great point.  He said that our goodness is shown in our actions and not in our intentions or even thoughts. 

What do I do daily to show my goodness?  He mentioned that if we are to be good or do good acts that it is a daily thought process, an obsession almost.  I got his point.

Here's an interesting idea that he gave, "have a video crew follow you for a week".  That would most likely be an eye-opener.  And then sit down after that week and watch it with people you trust as well as by yourself to see what you think. 

Of course, this would be difficult and almost impossible, unless you're on a reality television show.  (I wonder how many people aren't happy about their words and actions after they see themselves on television?)  I'm wondering if we could do this in our mind, daily?  Get up and imagine a video camera following us around; would we be more aware of our daily activities or non-activities? 

Definitely food for thought. 

My Yearly Valentine Dilemma

 Each year I send a Valentine package to my grandchildren; I used to send something to my adult children, but when they started having children it was too expensive to include everyone.  My youngest son and his wife will get something small; they don't have kids yet!  And each year I think it would be so much smarter to just put a $5 bill in a Valentine card for each of them, but then, it's so much more fun for the kids to open a package full of things.....right?  There are just too many choices: candy, toys, movies, books, stickers, clothes....and the list could go on forever!   In putting these packages together I also have to think of the cost, if not, then I'd spend a small fortune!

When I was in the Tri-Cities on Tuesday I purchased a few Valentine things: a little candy, slap bracelets, and Valentine Cards; i had some window gel clings I bought last year to add and now I am thinking that I don't have enough!  This morning I was looking at Pinterest and ran across the cutest Valentine garland made out of brown paper hearts and book pages which; then in my mind, has turned into brown paper hearts with sepia tone photos of my grandkids and of us!  (Now if only my printer was working properly!)

 I love being creative, thinking creatively, and then actually following through on my ideas.  My problem is that I have so many ideas at one time!  It's a difficult process for me to choose the one that I love the most and then follow through. 

I am thinking that I'd better get a move on if I'm going to gather everything I need in order to make these garlands; I only have a few days before I have to get them in priority mail since I am not usually ahead of the ball to use regular mail.

I'd love to hear any other ideas of things to send and make for my grandkids and family.  I'd also appreciate any good "electronic energy vibes" to come my way so that my printer will work!

(as a side note: my husband came home from work and hopefully fixed my printer)  Thanks!

Feelings Come and Feelings Go

I've had a few interesting experiences with feelings in the past few days and have found it fascinating to see feelings bubble to the surface in each case.  I'd like to explore them briefly here, if only for my amusement.

Yesterday I had my day planned: Lunch and Girls' Camp planning meeting with 2 friends, work the Hallmark departments at both Safeways in town and then dinner and relaxation in the evening.  The first part of my day went as scheduled except I was running late to lunch because I was wanting desperately to finish my blog post; I had a mission!  

Lunch was great and we discussed Girls' Camp; it only took us almost three hours!  The time got away from us, but we did enjoy ourselves!  I managed to avoid a parking ticket by running out to my car as the meter maid was writing me up; happy that she gave me a break.  I said, "are you giving me a ticket?"  Meter Maid, "yes, it's been over 2 hours and then I said, "well,  I'm here now and leaving.  Phew!  My friends weren't able to avoid their tickets. 

I postponed my plans to work the Hallmark departments when it was so late in the afternoon (I'm really good at postponing things!) and then when I was helping my son with something through my e-mail account I discovered our internet was out.  I called the Internet Provider which is something I rarely do; it's just not a comfortable spot for me to be in.  I'm not always sure what equipment they're asking me about; "what chord is what color"?  "Are you referring to the modem which is which machine?"  It's never a pleasant experience for me, but I did it, and managed to get through the hour long experience without shedding a tear; although, I could feel them wanting to push through my tear ducts when I realized that I had to take care of the problem.  The Tech support woman who, by the way, lived in St. Louis, was very nice and patient.  Through a few minutes of "down time" while the computer had to reboot or the modem had to reboot, we had short conversations.  I found out that besides her living in St. Louis, that she also has lots of patience with customers like me as well as doing lots of waiting while customers are rebooting their computers and modems. 

As I was having that very anxious experience with electronics which is not my "thing" I was wondering about the emotions I was having and what I was learning from this not-so-pleasant experience.  I'm still not sure!  The ironic and funny (if you can call it funny) thing is that when my husband got home and found out that our wireless internet was no longer connected because the tech support woman had me disconnect it because the computer was trying to find it and could not......he re-did the whole thing and it worked!  He said to me, "and now you see that the cable company isn't too smart."  And WHY did I take an hour to do all of that?

This morning I had planned to attend the LDS Temple with two friends and after driving an hour  to get there (also had lunch and shopping planned afterwards), found out that we hadn't been scheduled.  Oops!  I love being in the Temple and the peace I usually feel there.  Today I felt a little frustrated, maybe a titch irritated with a little inward eye-rolling and had to find a way to change my feelings; I didn't want to continue feeling irritated; I was in a place to feel the opposite of frustration.   It was okay; I was able to let those feelings go and do something different in the Temple than I had planned and it was good. 

And then just a few minutes ago while reading a blog about the A to Z Blog Challenge  I participated in last year I discovered that it was happening while I was out of town; how could I blog while I was visiting kids and grandkids?  I'm still feeling a little sad and left out (although no one would miss my blogging); mostly just a little disappointed to join in.  (maybe I'll figure out a way to participate)  

It's interesting, if we pay attention, to see emotions and feelings surface at times in our day and when we're not ready for them or expecting them.  How do you handle unexpected things?  I'm thinking I need to change my middle name to "rubber band" as in flexible!  It's all good.

Distractions

Yesterday morning before I left for Church I was practicing some Children's Primary songs on the piano (I play the piano for the children's meeting) and found that the pedal on my piano was squeaky.  I remembered that it had been squeaking last week when I was practicing, but somehow it bothered and distracted me more yesterday than it had last week.  For the life of me, I could not ignore the squeaking and noticed that I was making more mistakes than normal on the easy music I was playing.

The squeaky pedal was a distraction to me that I could not seem to shake, and then the thought came to me, "what other distractions are keeping me from progressing in other areas of my life"?

We all have distractions in our lives that can keep us from moving in a forward direction.  Obvious distractions in my life are the television, facebook, and playing games on my phone.  I'm not saying that we can't enjoy these things, but when I'm doing these things in place of activities such as reading and pondering or listening to good music which would improve my life mentally, physically and spiritually, then I am choosing to stay stagnant.

Yesterday in Church a woman talked about her awful basement ( hidden from any visitors since the door to the basement enters from the garage instead of inside the house) how she hates it, that it is dark and musty and unfinished and dirty.  It is now her family's project to clean it up starting with the floors.  They are choosing to do it by getting on their hands and knees and scraping, scrubbing and washing the dirt away (as opposed to renting a machine).  She compared that to our souls and the process of exploring areas not exposed to anyone else but ourselves and then with the help of the Savior and his atonement, in cleaning those undesirable areas that are more difficult to clean up and to even view.

 Last night I had a not so comfortable "aha moment" where I was able to see something I had not clearly seen that needed scrubbing away with the help of the Savior.  I really wish there was a machine I could rent to make it easier, to feel a little less pain.  The ironic part of seeing this flaw in myself was that I was watching a movie, albeit a more spiritual movie, when I saw and felt the desire to have this flaw taken away.   Maybe Heavenly Father shows us, sometimes, through methods we are familiar with? ( In fairness to myself, I was at the point last night, ready to view and ask for help to "scrub my basement floor". )

How many years have I stayed distracted from really seeing in me something I needed help with?   

 Many years ago when I was watching my youngest son, Rob, play in a golf tournament I listened to one of the Dads of a golfer tell the story of Tiger Woods' Dad throwing leaves and things at Tiger when he practiced so he could learn to concentrate and focus solely on the task at hand: hitting the golf ball.  Obviously, Tiger Woods learned to ignore those distractions for his golf game; with practice I'll be able to ignore that squeaky pedal (or oil it!) and master the songs I'd like to.

We all have distractions in our lives; some are thrown at us and some are chosen by us.  
It is our choice what to do with them; we can push through them to develop focus or we can remove some of them.  Whichever we choose, let's choose to move forward in creating more joy and more growth.  We only have this life; let's choose wisely.

Staying in the Present

On Thursday I was able to drive a few hours away to visit my son and his family; they have 15 month old twin girls and I love seeing them.  They're at such a fun age; we are blessed to have them only live a few hours away since all of my other 7 grandchildren live much further away than a two hour drive.
     I had a nice visit, and today I had to come home.  I decided that I'd pull my camera out of my backpack and take some pictures along the way home. ( I wish I had taken photos of the babies while I was there with my nice camera instead of my iphone.)  I drove through a canyon following the Snake River, I believe, and then through farm country with a few small towns scattered along the way.  It was a chance for me to just stay in the present, in the moment of being in the car with my music, my thoughts and my camera without thinking of what I had to come home and do.  It's a practice I'd like to continue each day(not the road trip; as much as I love them it might get old!  But the practice of being in the moment.)

As I pulled into Pomeroy I saw this beautiful horse and actually drove past before I thought I should turn around.   It's something I don't normally do (turn around) but today I thought, "why not?  when will I be back here and have this opportunity again?)  They walked up to me after I got out of my car.

It feels like it should be Springtime already with the fields starting to get green!

Dayton; I would have loved to walk around and take some more photographs, but I did have to be home by a certain time.

Outside of Waitsburg I started to see some fog.

I don't know if you can tell, but I tried to take this photo with the pink showing through the fog near the top of the photo.  It was the strangest thing seeing pink fog!  Maybe it was pink because it was really sunny above it? 

    I left 43 degree, sunny weather and ended up in 36 degree, foggy weather; what a difference!  Now I am practicing the art of being in the moment while at home; it's not as pretty or interesting as my drive but I have much to do taking one step at a time in my home and many things to be grateful for.