Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I can't help you. Not really.

The other day I had this e-mail in my junk folder (for some reason I haven't figured out how to make some e-mails "safe") and the title really caught my attention:

"I can't help you. Not really."  This e-mail came from Danielle LaPorte; I get one daily and they all go to my junk folder so I've just gotten used to checking my junk mail!

That title isn't very inspiring or encouraging, but it is an attention-grabber!  I'll share a little of it with you so you get the gest:

"I'm committed to doing what I can this lifetime to alleviate suffering.  I'm here to be helpful.  I pray to be useful.  And...I don't believe that I can really help anyone.  Not really.  ....this is an anthem of clarity and empowerment.  No matter how much insight or sweat I give, the effects of my giving are not my call to make.  I have nothing to do with someone receiving my love--it's the choice of the loved.  If someone runs with my idea, or is moved, or takes my suggestion and turns it all around--that's because of their readiness and wisdom, not mine.

There are two ways to look at her statement.  The first is that her knowledge that she can't make anyone learn the lessons she's putting forward or learn new ideas she has to offer, gives her freedom to give freely without expectations.

Last week I was happily able to help a friend.  She's been having neck pain and has not wanted to undergo lots of medical treatment except maybe accupuncture.  I had been listening to podcasts about emotional freedom technique (  and applying it to different situations, physically and emotionally.  I offered my friend this information and she accepted it and then asked if I could help her.  I remember being so nervous; it reminded me of how I felt each time I had a rapid eye client.  I remember preparing so carefully with the information and spiritually, for guidance.  So with this friend, I felt myself taking on the whole responsibility of eft working with her; what a burden!  It then occurred to me that it wasn't my responsibility to make her pain go away; I could not do that.  I could offer her an avenue for alleviating her pain and it was up to her; I understand how Danielle LaPorte feels freer and more empowered having this knowledge. 

The second way and the way I apply the "I can't help you" statement to my life is that I am the master of my ship, my destiny.  (isn't there a poem about that?)  I can listen to all the self-help pod casts, read all the self-help books I can get my hands on, and be trained in different healing modalities but if I'm not open to changing, to accepting what is offered then it's my responsibility.  I'm not saying that learning as much as I can is a waste, it will still be in the back of my mind and when I'm ready to make the move then at least I'll have the knowledge, and sometimes I think it takes a while for it to click.  I also have to be ready, spiritually, for the changes to happen; at least that's my belief.

I know that I am grateful for new knowledge ( I was just listening to David Woods last night, an inspirational speaker, and having a few aha moments and loving it). 

Danielle LaPorte goes on to say, "It's not for me to say if the people I advise are winning or losing.  I don't know the inner machinations of their Soul.  I cannot say if their choices are dharmic or karmic, wisdom or sabotoge.  What looks like a mistake to me could be the rightest action of their Soul's unfolding.  What looks like suffering could be a lifetime of enlightenment.  What looks like quitting today could lead to their greatest victory tomorrow." 

"I can't help you.  Not really.  I can only show up with a bright heart and hope that I get you at the right micro-moment with the perfect dose of lightthat helps you see what you already know."

Which then leads to the suggestion I received in my junk folder this morning: "Be teachable".

And how do I become teachable?  I strive, first for wisdom through prayer and reading and then try to stay open to new ideas and new possibilities and remember that I don't know it all.

How do you stay open and teachable?  What are some of your favorite lessons?

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