The other day when I was talking to one of my sons on the telephone, he asked me, "So what are you doing these days?" Quite frankly, the question stumped me a bit (I had become happy at "being"); I stumbled through my answer a little, "trying to de-clutter the house a bit, the same ole same ole, thinking about going back to school, and of course, I'm now blogging daily." That question still "haunts" me. So, what am I doing with my life?
It was easier when all the kids were home; my life was filled with their lives which let me off the hook in thinking too much about what I was going to do once they left home. And now that they are all gone I am forced to face my own life. At first this process was difficult; I struggled with only having myself and my husband at home and quite frankly, did not enjoy it much. After a few months of getting adjusted to that fact and seeing my children all moving on with their lives( and happily, I might add), I came to some kind of "peace" about what I was "doing".
At first, I thought I needed to get a job (my problem is that I need flexibility since my family lives so far away and I love to visit them), then I thought I could sell lia sophia jewelry again (I did a great job with that for almost 2 years but it was something I didn't love doing) ;then I thought I might like to go back to school and I loved the idea of becoming a counselor since I love working with people and helping others see different perspectives of things, but did not like the idea of about 6 years of schooling.(am I sounding a little scattered? I was certainly feeling that way!) I was so afraid of making a wrong choice because I believed that I'd be stuck with that choice(there are always results that come with our choices). "If we dislike the end result of a choice, we can simply forgive ourselves and choose again, thus providing a new result (one of peace)."--Dr. Ranae Johnson
Then one day while at lunch with a dear friend, the simply obvious choice was to check out an interior design 2 year degree from the Community College in town. I felt quite at peace with that choice(I haven't talked with a counselor yet, but it is my intention!*S*), and as long as I feel peace with that choice I will pursue it(well, after and in between visiting my children and grandchildren).
I do appreciate my son's question; it is always good to think about my choices. Dr. Ranae Johnson states, "Awareness of your choices can assist you in focusing on what you want in your life. Being aware of what you really want will create a space for more choices that are compatible with your focus. This is why it is vital to use your choice, your free will, to create an enlightened (aware) purpose for your life."
And, honestly, before the question was posed to me I felt like I was on my "path" as it were, in creating a life that I loved; however, I do need to "know" what my priorities are; I do have "practical" things in my life, I still have a home to take care of with a husband that occupies it alongside me! (I do make lists occasionally to keep me on track)
I do appreciate the fact that we do not have choices about some things if we want to be responsible adults (or teenagers for that matter); sometimes there are things that just "need" to be done, but we can choose our attitude in performing the tasks at hand.
I am still giving thought to the question, "So what are you doing these days?" These days I am having wonderfully creative ideas along with doing the same ole, same ole and planning visits to see family out of state. In days to come, I will be more serious and love to have a flexible career that is still helping people feel good(interior design does that, right?*S*), and in doing all of this, hopefully I am being true to who I am because in the end it is our choices that we will be held accountable for.
Once again from Rapid Eye Life Skills developed by Dr. Ranae Johnson, "Choose light and enlightenment; it is joy beyond your wildest dreams. Choose to feel loved, capable, and abundant. Start today with, 'I am what I believe I am.'....You can take charge of your life by becoming aware of your Choice and Accountability process."